Spray Ketamine

The last 10 days have been crippling and I'm still not ready to talk about it. No matter what you are doing life can halt like a bus running you over in a split second. Not having Ketamine these last couple weeks has worn down on me. I have thought about how to word this without sounding like I am addicted because I am not. Ketamine just makes my life easier by repairing the damage life causes to our brains. I started my spray Ketamine last night and my brain already feels clearer. I've been feeling like all the work I’ve done recently had been erased. It’s crazy how situations can either make or break you. My recent situation almost broke me. I was thinking about suicide and actually making a plan which I hadn't done in such a long time. Luckily my support system is so strong that I was pulled out of my hole and able to process everything with people I knew who loved me.

I didn’t get the disassociation but I also need to figure out how the sprays works and make sure I am getting the full benefit. Doing 5 sprays per nostril is a lot of liquid to breathe in. Either way I feel better mentally again and it’s nice. I'm excited to see the benefits as well and finally being able to focus on my EMDR while having the Ketamine to make sure my brain can handle the trauma. Not having a black hole for a past is such a nice thought. I have no idea what is going to come up with my EMDR or the Ketamine, but I do know I'll be okay. Even if I don't remember everything that happened It helped create the person I am today. I'm sure as time goes on I'll have more to post. I have therapy today and do Ketamine again tomorrow so the process will be much more complex but my posts won't be as common. I need to take things day by day so I can fully heal. Either way it's my journey and I'll make it.