Second Spray Ketamine

I did my second spray Ketamine last night. It is still trial and error which is frustrating. I am still figuring out how to transition to the spray and get the full benefit. I am going to talk to the pharmacy about a smaller sprayer; I think the spray bottle they used isn't effective enough. I tried spacing out each spray so that I got most of the spray.

I got high but didn't have the disassociation like I am supposed to. It's more like being buzzed off alcohol than anything like my infusions. Not to mention it tastes disgusting. I do not know how anyone does drugs. Having anything up my nose is flat out horrible, and makes my nose feel horrible for days.

I am not hitting breakthroughs like we planned but I have to be patient and focus on the trial and error of getting better. Change doesn't happen over night or quickly. I feel clearer with each treatment so it is doing something and that's what matters. I also have to remember I am at a very difficult time in my life, everything seems to be up and down and it is taking its toll on me mentally and physically. I know regardless of what work needs to be done I am better than I was 7 months ago and that in its self is amazing. At this point I am at a standpoint but will eventually make progress.