Not Quite There

I did a total of 10 Ketamine Infusions and the change in me was incredible. But as life throws things at you when you have a Mental Illness it's hard to get back up. I am in therapy working on how to handle my past and current situations as they arrive.

Right now I need to focus on me and not the world. I was warned when I started Ketamine that I may need more than the normal treatments due to my past. I have been on antidepressants since I was 15, have PTSD and severe trust issues. I got amazing results but going two weeks without Ketamine plus the amount of things hitting me from all sides has pushed me back into a dark place. I am still fighting like hell and will do as many Ketamine treatments as I need to.

Yes I am disappointment but I am also incredibly proud of the changes I have overcame. I am recognizing I need a little more help. I am recognizing I may need medication my whole life and that's okay. So next week I will have my 11th Ketamine treatment and go from there.

I will eventually be okay and be able to handle things in an appropriate manner. I am better than I give myself credit for. Thank god for the fire that burns inside me so I am able to fight like hell to be the best me I can be. I will crack these walls I have built around me and let the real Haley shine if it's the last thing I do.

Photo By: Jeremy Hall