Letting it all go

When I was in Glenwood I wrote break up letters that will all lead up to a forgiveness letter to myself. Haven't gotten that far yet but I've written a ton of letters.

The end process of these letters is to burn them when you’re done. But I let my OCD get the best of me and I waited to burn them because I wanted to burn them all together. I finally burnt them the other night along with one of my journals from my childhood. I’m going to continue writing these letters and going through stuff and than letting go and burning these things because it’s a huge lift off my shoulders.

It's crazy the energy they take when these negative things are just sitting in your house. Due to my childhood I use to hold onto everything. I realize it now that it was because I didn't feel loved. So I clung onto anything and everything someone gave me.

Valentines cards from school

Notes I had with people

Cards from people

Journals that half of them I couldn't even read

I think in a way if I didn't hold onto these things it proved I wasn't loved or my past didn't happen. My Journal proved all the abuse I went through as a child. All those feelings and fear I had wasn't just something I made up. That the people who left me loved me at one point.

I actually asked a staff member if I could make copies of the letters I wrote and she automatically caught me in my pattern. She looked at me and said but the process is to let go, so if we make a copy you won't be letting go. That's when it hit, I knew when I got home I had to go through a lot of my stuff. I needed to get rid of that negative energy and things that no longer serve me.

Letting go of things is just as hard as letting go of people. But in the end the energy we surround ourselves with is what we become. If you hang around negative people you become negative yourself. If you surround yourself around positive people and energy you become a positive happy person. We all have our moments and times when life happens, that will never change. But we do have the power to control how long these situations affect us and how we react to them.