EMDR Session 1: Them

When I agreed to start EMDR I had no idea what to expect. I had a list of things that I remembered or wanted to work on. The first one I chose was My husband and his Ex. Due to my past and the amount of mistreatment I have received it makes it very hard for me to trust people but especially relationships. Our relationship with his ex has been up and down constantly till March 2019. We are actually really close friends now, but that doesn't stop my brain creating scenarios or bad thoughts about the situation. So with EMDR you make a list, I know tons of lists but it's how my brain works so choosing this path of healing has made the process easier.

First list: Things you need help with or to work on.

I won't list my list here but as I work on things I'll make post's about them. Sharing these experiences aren't easy but if I can change even one persons life than sharing my story is totally worth it.

Second List:

1. A Target

2. Worst Part of the incident (Result, image, memory, etc.)

3. Negative cognition or belief

4. Replacement for cognition or positive belief we want to replace it with

5. Emotions it makes you feel

When I started EMDR my anxiety was at a 7, my heart was racing and even talking about the situation made me very uncomfortable. As we went through the movements things slowly started to calm within me. I had some things come up that my brain had connected.

~I wasn't a secret

~He married me

~Hid me/ Lied about where I was. (I was in Washington not Utah)

~Calm/Safe

~Has defended me

By the time I was done my number was down to a 2. Some people take multiple sessions to get the number low and most people don't get a number below a 2. So the fact that we got my number that low is a good sign. I may have to revisit this subject matter but for now I was able to cross it off my list. Things have been better mentally around the whole situation but who knows what the future holds. We are friends now and get along. My husband and me are getting along better and have a healthier relationship.

Marriage is hard but once you bring exes into the picture or my past things get a little more complicated. The key is wanting the marriage to work and fighting like hell for not only it but your happiness.