Day 3

Today was a weird day. I had a good day but was off mentally. I’ve made so much progress compared to my past but I still have set backs....

I hear something and my brain starts running and literally thinks of the worst scenario. My heart starts to race, my stomach feels like I got punched. I use to loose it and fall completely apart. Today I was able to stay composed on the outside. Now inside I was a huge mess that was spiraling.

I’ve been battling decisions in my head. I’ve made so many decisions I’ve regretted, especially last year. I’m terrified I’ll make another bad or regrettable decision. That is life though; you have to make decisions and not live in a cautious state all the time. Tomorrow we are officially out of 2020. 2020 was such a hard year with so many unknowns.

2021 gives me hope, a chance to move forward even more than I already have. A new start for my career path, my family, my mental health. I am going to take more time for myself. I've got a ton of self help books. Daily tracking of my anxiety and mood. I have a budget binder to plan my money.

None of know what 2021 holds, but I do know it's not just going to be magically be the best year ever. A lot of it depends on what you make it. I use to just wait for things to happen and let everything happening control my life. It's time to change my mentality and put good energy into the universe.