Speechless

There are so many things not only going on in my life but the world. It's had me speechless. Makes me terrified to raise a child in this world. Terrified that I may never get another baby because I have no idea what the future looks like. Being someone who has a very strong opinion on abortion and knows what's it's like to long for a baby and loose one. BUT this does not mean I believe the right should be taken away from anyone. I don't pay attention to politics or the news really so there is no need to post about it and it terrifies me.

But this isn't just affecting one subject. Women already don't report rape because we aren't believed or were blamed for situations we have been in. We are the ones sexualixed and expected to please our men. We are already looked down at and fight so many battles. I was raped, multiple times and ages. Brutally and painfully, it still lives with me every day. I don't know if you can 100% heal from that. I fight every single day to continue being who I am and to be healthy because of the things done to me. So now not only are we going to continue sexualizing women were going to take the one thing women use to prevent pregnancy, so then in turn woman are going to become abstatnat. Than men are going to get angry and in return not be able to control themselves. Rape statistics for the United states this year so far are already 27.31% and 84,767 cases; and it's only the end of june.

Than the people who are terrible terrible parents. I was lucky and had one bad and one good..... My dad was a saint and is still my hero but my mom..... Oh man..... She started sex trafficing me at 3 because her drugs were more important. Than she continually sexually assaulted me and allowed others to till I was too old for it to happen. Physically abused me and so many other things. Than I just repressed everything but the thing about repressing everything is it goes away in the memory but not the effect of it. I struggled with so many mental issues my whole life and still do. The only reason I am doing as good as I am is because I fight damn hard every single day to be better. My mom should have never had children. She took my childhood away and caused so much harm. Can you imagine if she hadn't been able to take birth control and had more babies?! How many more children would be damaged.

Now to my last point...... There is already no resources for mental health. Even insurances barely cover it and it's hell getting approvals and things covered. Paying out of pocket adds up eventually and finding a therapist you work well with takes so much time and patience not including the money involved. Than you add mental disorders and medication and you need more doctors and help. More money for prescriptions and authorizations. Playing russian roulette with doctors and pills. Feeling like you are gonna die and if you aren't you want to take your life and than meds that increase and decrease that. Mental healthcare in the US is a joke as it is but let's just add to everyone's trauma and make things worse.

Crime is going to go up

Suicide

Death

Drug use and so many other things.....

So many other terrible things are going to happen and I have no idea where it is going to end up but I do know I do have control over myself to an extent. I can raise my son to not only be respectful but also to understand exactly what women go through and how it is just as much his responsibility to help prevent and not only put it on the women. He will grow up being raised by a single mom and has already seen the struggles. So since that's all that I can control right now I will.