The Uncomfortable

It's wild what happens when you take the time to heal and become a better person. After tonight I'm gonna have to end things with lake guy. It's a bittersweet sword because it means the healing is sticking..... The old Haley would have pushed every red flag away just to be loved and have some kind of validation. It's no longer about that validation or love at this point, it's truly down to if the person is someone I could spend the rest of my life with. I've had my intuition go off a couple times and instead of ignoring it I listened carefully and after tonight and everything made sense. This is another reason why the guys I date cannot meet Eddie, because you never know what is going to happen.

I still want the white dress and baby but I refuse to lose myself just to get it. I know my happy ending will come when the time is right. The universe has proved time and time again that it has a process even when I don't understand it. Even my witchcraft and tarot cards have proved that the universe gives you what you need not necessarily what you want. I've never picked myself before and it's one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the world. I am working out regularly and falling in love with this body of mine that's been through hell. Sometimes I wonder how it's still standing but grateful it is.

You can't expect others to respect and love you if you don't respect and love yourself first. This has been one of the biggest lessons for myself. I was raised to think I had to look a certain way or be a specific weight or I wouldn't be worthy and that's a hard belief to crack but I work at it every single day. I'll love myself in the end if it's the last thing I do. The world is my bitch and nothing could stop me at this point. Watch out world because the fire in this one is bright.....