28th Ketamine Infusion

Well, this was my last infusion with my clinic in Utah (for now). I am trying a clinic in Idaho and using the money I used to drive to Utah to justify the cost of the price increase. My next infusion will be with Sunrise Ketamine Clinic. Therapy reset has been so good to me and helped save me when I was at my worst. Saying goodbye to the staff, especially my usual nurse, Haley, was so hard, but I have to take this step and see what Idaho offers me without holding onto Utah like an anchor.

I was tanking pretty hard before this infusion and was worried it wouldn't work as well, but since Friday, I feel alive again and like I can tackle the world (Thank goodness since school starts tomorrow). We are in the process of boxing up and selling my grandma's house, and that has come with so many emotions and drama. Today was a rough one, and before Ketamine, I would have fallen apart, but I held my head high and maintained being okay.

Part of why I'm moving my Ketamine to Idaho is I'm having a lot of emotions coming up with the lack of effort from people in my life. I push aside things for other people constantly and am realizing how much of that I don't have. If people truly want to continue having me in their lives, they can come to Idaho. I am done driving to Utah once a month and dumping a ton of money to not get it in return.

This is a big step towards loving myself and putting myself first, If I can't get that kind of love or affection from others, it's about time I start giving it to myself. I've spent my entire life waiting for other people to put me first and show up while neglecting the one person who I am stuck with forever.

Cut the people off, take the job, quit the job, make the move, say no when you don't want to do something, say yes to more things you want to do. As someone with severe trauma who has spent most of her life people pleasing and wasting time. Life is too damn short to continue waiting for other people to make life happen.

I'm done waiting and living on other people's terms 🦋