Luck was on my side 🙏🏻

It’s just benign tissue!! My cancerous cells haven't returned and I can finally breathe. I had so many emotions it was hard to breathe. The thought of cancer wasn't even the scary part; I can fight like hell if that was the case. The worst fear other than what it would do to Eddie was that I couldn't rush and have a baby because it's just Eddie and me this time. I know, crazy silly and ridiculous; but I know what I want. The most important part is I'm okay and that's not a road we have to go down again. So life is back to normal now and just livin life.

The dating world sucks per usual and I haven't been on a date yet. Let me tell ya being single a whole year and focusing on yourself really steps up the game when you enter the dating world again. I’m way more aware and not even giving less than I deserve a second of my time. Things I put up with before or tried to find excuses for because I wanted to be loved so bad just aren't important anymore. It's wanting someone but being content with it just being Eddie and me. I've also accepted that I'm not a woman who needs no man. I'm not a woman who will ever not want love no matter how badly I've been burnt. I'm learning to accept this part of me. For a while I was angry I couldn't be like other girls who get angry and just say fuck you to love, I got angry I still wanted it so badly but I'm trying to look at it as a power because not everyone is able to still hold so much love after so much pain.

So for now I'm just going to continue going with the flow but still chasing my dreams. Not giving up on love but not out right chasing it. My priority right now is Eddie of course and school coming up. Luckily it will be something Eddie and I will be doing together. I'm stoked to see how he does in Kindergarten and see if the kind of school we picked. This ride is wild but so damn worth it.